I wannas sexs uuuuu
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
