Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
