So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
