this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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