All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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