I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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