Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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