RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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