i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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