Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
