how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
