I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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