The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize