Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
