My pussy is not your playground.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
