He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
