You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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