my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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