What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
