Your favorite bartender is back from prision
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
