My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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