He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
