ya dads aren't the best wingmen
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.