i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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