Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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