It's like God shit irony all over that family
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
