someone get that fucking seahorse.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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