Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
