why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
