I murdered the dance floor call the cops
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
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