So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he thought i was a dude.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
