You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
