I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
