i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
