im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
