What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Operation Purity has been aborted
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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