There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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