Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Randomize
