I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
