Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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