I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Barsexuality is the new black.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
