this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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