i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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