I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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