puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
