I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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