3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Do you still have your period?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
