I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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