Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
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I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
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I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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