So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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