I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
