idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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