I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
