she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
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The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
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I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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