Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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