I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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