We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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