what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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