I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
