Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
