Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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