If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
