Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
