The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
