If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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