i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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