Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
