Swine flu. Run for my life!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
