sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
