He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
