I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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