Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
