I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
